Whenever people talk about self defense, most will immediately think of punching and kicking. In martial arts introductory classes, most are told that fighting is the last resort but the first thing that is taught is punching and kicking. There is a need for more people to take a broader view of self defense and importance of non-escalating skills that we have talked about and showcased during our season-end shows.
As a default curriculum, a lot of emphasis is on fighting some imaginary opponents, delivering lethal strikes and traditional forms. What is often forgotten is a very dangerous and often forgotten enemy – yourself.
Here are a few very common perils:
- Body image – if you understand that people who are tall wish they are shorter and those that are short wants to be taller. Those that are skinny want to add bulk and those that are big wish they can still fit into a small car. Those that are rich think everyone is after their money. Those that are poor wants to be rich. Those that are beautiful figure that others only appreciate their looks and not the person. We can go on and on. The bottom line is that you have to figure out how to make the best of what you are dealt (just like card players).
- Other people’s judgement and criticism – verbal bullying has been around for ever. Technology simply makes cyber bullying even easier. Understand that some people are simply too dumb to appreciate you the way you are. You do not have to argue, simply smile and think you in mind “I cannot help you learn to be a good human being. You are not my friend and therefore I refuse to be affected by you.”
- Addiction / habits – There are things that you do need professional help but there are lots of other things that you can solve on your own if you set your mind to it. The most important thing is to find the trigger for a behavioral pattern and then to consciously lookout for the trigger. Find a replacement / substitute behavior.
- Lazy / procrastination – Always try to do things that are challenging in at least 2 phases. 1) Understand what needs to be solved, let the idea germinate in your mind and try to chunk it in bite size. 2) Focus on what need to be done and then just do it in small increments. Generate that sense of small accomplishments and do it in a place with minimum distractions.
- Limitations – If you find yourself saying “I cannot …” too often, try adding the little word “yet” to it which may be the start of a new journey.
- Ability to learn – if you are afraid of failures, you will not experiment and this will in turn limit your ability to learn. If you are too stubborn, you will not be able to accept new ideas or differing viewpoints.
Exercise
Within the context of a martial art class and assuming you are the instructor how can you help your students solve the “self” problem without just preaching (meaning that your method has to be trainable and NOT by saying “you should be like this or that….”)