One of the hardest thing to teach is “how or when to let go”. We sometimes call this “Go with the flow with integrity”. Relax does not mean being spaghetti-like relaxed. The threshold is relative and not absolute which makes it even harder to explain. This is BOTH a mindset and physical training.
Besides combat, here are other situations where the lesson of “just let go” is essential:
- Taking losses in the stock market – one of the most common mistake for layman is to try to hang on to their losses in hope that it will recover some day. The reason why it is so difficult may be ego – the reluctance to admit one’s mistake. It may be emotional, you are so in-love with the company that you don’t see that the trend is the start of the end. Look at the Bre-X, Nortel and numerous internet companies that came and gone. There are lots of times that it is better the take the loss early and switch to something that will give you a better yield. However, being too sensitive to daily ups and down can easily whip you out of a potentially good investment. When should you take loss?
- Relationships – In abusive relationships, victims typically can’t let go and keep ‘hoping’ and ‘dreaming’ that their partner will change one day. “Apologies”, “promises” and “hope” does not facilitate changes. Just like push-hands, repetitive corrected stimulus-response pairing is needed to change instinctive behavior patterns.
If somebody swear at you and you lose your cool or somebody punched you and you go apes, you are at the mercy of the provoker because emotionally / mentally, you are where he wants you and becomes predictable. It doesn’t mean that you should let him hurt you again unpunished but it will be on your terms and time. Words cannot hurt you unless you let it. Furthermore, there are more jerks in this world than one and you can’t teach them all – if they want to be stupid, let them be stupid. Don’t make teaching jerks a lesson is your mission in life.
Push-hand puts you under stress and your personality traits / reactions show up very quickly – too aggressive, too passive, no goals, limited response set, reactive and not thinking, not feeling, etc.. Therefore, slow down, stop and repeat at where you get ‘stuck’ is essential to cause physical and mental changes.
Exercise
There are more examples of situations where you have to “just let go”. Kung fu or real life or personally. Please describe.